Musak

I do feel sorry for my ears, for they are assaulted daily by the rubbishy musak played on the radio. 

Why, I begin by asking the world, must they play the same songs several times a day, sometimes even hourly? Why, I put to the world at large a second time, are these songs popular to begin with? It amuses me that these very similar sounding songs appear on stations which claim to provide ‘musical variety’. At this claim I snort and laugh derisively. Do these ‘artists’ consider themselves good, talented, even gifted? Are their fans who will have forgotten who they were in a couple of years’ time of the same opinion? 

I think I can safely slot all the forgetful songs I hear lately on the most popular stations into several unhappy categories.

Currently, most female singers either fall into the ‘slightly country’ love song category, the gentle breathy voice with tinkly music in the background which you hear on TV ads a lot, or some strangely distorted accent and nasal voice which makes it impossible to tell what they’re singing about. Katy Perry, some of you may agree, sounds increasingly like a wailing banshee with every new single to hit the charts. Then there’s the Kesha kind, who doesn’t seem to be able to sing unless her voice has been filtered through a digital auto-tuner. Regarding these two, it must be their image that people like, because it certainly can’t be their music. It isn’t only them, I’m sure there are plenty of others too. 

I am also having difficulty telling the difference between several recent male vocalists. I’m not sure of their names, because up until recently I thought they were all the same person. It was only when I started paying attention to the announcer saying who the ‘artist’ had been at the end, that I realised it wasn’t. Their songs are a lyrical waste of time, and seem to consist of the same line or word repeated over and over again. Have you heard ‘Homesick, homesick, homesick’ a zillion billion times lately? Each of these songs I hear is more generic and forgetful than the last. Sorry, but even Stan Walker, Australasia’s beloved winner of Idol, sends my brains crawling out of my ears in an attempt to flee the boredom. Oh, and don’t get me started on Justin Bieber, but I think he’s become a standing joke now anyway for anyone who isn’t a giggling 15 year old girl.

Thirdly, tinny techno boppy stupid nothing musak which took the ‘artist’ about five minutes to ‘compose’. These are about nothing, the lyrics are pointless, repetitive, and the tune non-existent. “Yes!” I hear you cry out in protest, “But techno music is like that!” And to that I say indeed, I know what techno music is like and that it can be very good. But what I speak of isn’t good techno or dance music, and I am one of many who cannot fathom how this flimsy, tinny crap made its way onto the airwaves. Here’s an example which springs to mind, the latest from the Black Eyed Peas… I’ve always sort of liked them, but these lyrics are just disappointing:

“Tonight’s the night night,

Let’s give it up.

I got my money,

Let’s spend it up.

Go out and smash it,

Like Oh My God,

Jump off that sofa,

Let’s get get off.”

A work of true genius if ever I beheld it. I find the fact that we idolise and pay money to hear these thoughtless songs and auto-tuned voices overlaying a synthetic boppy beat, while there are plenty of people out there with real talent who can actually sing and play intruments, utterly abhorrent. Will those genuinely talented people ever be heard on the radio? Unlikely. What possesses recording companies to say, “Hey, this is great, it sounds exactly like the last fifty generic songs we heard. Let’s put it on CD and print six million copies!” Or, “It doesn’t matter that she can’t sing, we’ll just put her voice through the auto-tune, take half her clothes off, and film a sexy clip. She’ll be the next big thing!”

To them I say please, stop inflicting us with what you assume the masses will enjoy, and trying to convince us that we like it!

Bring us something new, and for a change, something good! Bring us a struggling artist who plays to small crowds in pubs, someone who loves music for music’s sake, someone with talent who actually deserves the spotlight, and give them a chance!

I would like to conclude this little rant by pointing out that I am no authority on music, I have never studied it, I can’t read it, I am not a critic, and I can’t sing. However, I am your average person who likes listening to the radio over their morning bowl of porridge. Your opinions may differ from mine, and frankly I don’t mind if they do. That’s up to you, but this is what I have noticed, and what I personally  think. Granted, I will also say, not everything played on the radio today is akin to the aforementioned shite. There are some artists who genuinely are good and deserve all the praise and air time that they get.

I just don't think it's fair that this rubbish gets put on the radio and the corresponding videos get put on TV, when there are thousands of people out there who deserve it so much more. It just isn't fair.